Problem: It seems like there are many times when I feel misunderstood. I am not sure because I don’t pursue the matter. I sit quietly by and say nothing. I am really angry that people seem not to understand what I am trying to say. I’m pretty quiet, and maybe that is why no one seems to hear me. I think that I say it in a way that is easily understood, but maybe not. I am feeling like no one cares to listen.

Discussion: I think that if you are one of those people who is quiet by nature you may not be verbally loud enough to hear. I have often had quiet introverted people in counseling and there have been times that they barely spoke above a loud whisper. I don’t know if that is what is going on here. Maybe it is your tone of voice maybe it is that you do not express yourself often enough.

My suggestion is that you share with a friend what you have shared here and get some feedback. From past experience it seems like people who are more vocal and have louder for instance get heard because they seem more expressive. Your friend may have some insight that you have not considered.

Even if you are not the best communicator you can still learn how to be more vocal and begin to assert your opinions more often. If someone does not seem to be listening it could be that it will take some time for people to get used the new you. I think it would be a good idea to seek a coach/counselor to give you some good feedback and teach you better communication skills. If you are not used to expressing and sharing opinions it is okay to seek help.

P.S. If you are not satisfied with the way things are going it is really up to you to make some changes that impact your life more effectively.

To submit problems, contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at jsanchez1448@sbcglobal.net or through High Plains Journal.

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