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Problem: I have been feeling lately that I just don’t fit in anywhere. My husband does not know a stranger. He mingles and talks with anyone. I, on the other hand, have a hard time with strangers. I have always been shy and I have been told that I’m stuck up. Just because I am quiet I get this a lot. I kind of resent the community’s judgment of me. I live in a community of around 2,500 people so everyone seems to think that they know everyone and what they are about. Read more

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Problem: I come from a pretty dysfunctional family and it shows. In our home of origin, anger was the most expressed emotion. I grew up an angry young man and I had so many problems. My anger got me into physical fights and lots of other problems. I would admit my anger nearly ruined my life. Read more

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Problem: It seems like there are many times when I feel misunderstood. I am not sure because I don’t pursue the matter. I sit quietly by and say nothing. I am really angry that people seem not to understand what I am trying to say. I’m pretty quiet, and maybe that is why no one seems to hear me. I think that I say it in a way that is easily understood, but maybe not. I am feeling like no one cares to listen. Read more

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Problem: I have a challenge that is pretty serious to me. My wife told me that our daughter has said to her that she wishes she was dead. My wife made me promise not to bring it up to our daughter, but I think that is not a good way to handle it. You read about and see on television about kids who kill themselves and that is the end point. There is no going back. Read more

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Problem: This is the beginning of a new year and new beginnings. So many times we put a lot of effort into writing down our resolutions and believe me, that does have some merit. However I think the first step in developing the goals for the year requires a fearless inventory of ourselves and how we really need to make modifications in ourselves to be the best we can be. What does that mean anyway; the best me I can be? Read more

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This is a seasonal post. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we have family that we may or may not get along with. We love them, but they may make us a little crazy when we spend too much time with them. This is just a family thing for most of us. However there are families that have an easy time being together, that is also true. Decide who will be at your Thanksgiving get together. Make it easy on yourself. Break it up—you usually don’t have to have everyone in at one time, as t… Read more

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Problem: This may not seem like a problem to anyone, but I’m very good at hiding my very angry self. I have a job that requires me to be nice to people up front. It is a public job so I see a lot of people on a daily basis. I find that at the end of the day I am fuming. I can’t believe the way people behave. Read more

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Problem: We are in a town where we have a lot of events, and my family in particular seems to take advantage of our home as their personal bed and breakfast. My husband has begun to complain of my family being here so often. His family really does not have the option of staying because my family seems to call and almost invite themselves. In fact it kind of gets on my nerves as well. Read more

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Problem: How do you get over your own negativity? This is a question I have had for a long time. The truth is that I do not notice my negativity as much as other people notice it. Read more

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Problem: It seems like a lot of the problems that I see come across in your articles are written by women. Do women focus on the problems that men like me seem oblivious to? What kind of problems are going on in a relationship and specifically mine that I am missing? Read more

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Problem: I recently had a bad experience with a friend. This relationship started off as a work relationship but did turn into a friendship. I was being paid for my organizational/personal assistant position. It really worked out well, as this individual needed the help and I’m good at what I do. Well, I finished up her work and we periodically got together for lunch, and when she needed help I still did my part as a part of the job. Read more

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Problem: I am married and I am trying not to be picky, but my husband stretches the truth. It is small things that really do not matter but it is pretty consistent. I have gotten to the point that I check on what he says because he does this ridiculous behavior most of the time with me. He seems to be pretty defensive about this behavior and will not admit that he is doing it. Read more

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Problem: I have seen a counselor in the past and did feel better when I was seeing her, but my spouse did a lot of complaining about the expense. I work and bring money into the house and it is not like we are impoverished, so I did not see what the problem was. Read more

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Problem: It could be that other people would not see this as a problem, but I feel like I do not have a voice or an opinion with my husband, because he insists on being right. If I voice an opinion he demeans what I have to say and then acts as if I have a problem and I am taking him too seriously. I don’t get it. I am a very intelligent person and I don’t allow other people to treat me this way. Read more

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Problem: I am a packrat and I know it but I have a hard time getting rid of things. My husband complains that we have no more room in our house and he is probably right. Read more

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Problem: I am so tired of the news and all the bad things going on. I wonder how to feel better about myself and the state of the world. When I think of all the things that can go wrong and all the things that have gone wrong, I am just sort of mind boggled. I really do work at trying to remain positive in the midst of what I consider chaos. I think at my work there are so many people who do look for the worst and talk about it often. I am exhausted from trying to help them. Read more

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Problem: My husband says that all I ever do is complain. I am getting so tired of hearing him say this, but am beginning to wonder if it could be true. I am sort of a perfectionist who likes to have things and life in order. It isn’t a problem to me, but not everyone has the same mentality. Read more

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Problem: I have a daughter who is coming to visit, and the last time she came she was super critical of me and the way things were. She and her dad have a great relationship, and they do not have challenges that I can see. She is an only daughter, so her father has a favorite daughter. I notice if I say anything she does not like to her father, she corrects me. Read more

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Problem: I don’t even know what has caused this problem but my wife and I are not able to get along right now. We have been together for over 20 years, and I did not know she was so unhappy with our relationship. She really has not been a wife who complained all the time. Every now and then she would say something and we would get past it. Read more

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Problem: I feel that I just can’t get ahead. I have three children, a husband and a job. I have always been a person who got things done, but I find I am getting so behind on everything. It does not help I am a perfectionist and I like things to be in order. Most of the time I am just exhausted and frustrated that I can’t get things done. The laundry is undone, the kids are busy with sports and my husband is a farmer who does not have time to help with any of the things that have to be done. Read more

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Problem: I know being a good parent is one of my goals and one that I think has been very difficult. My background is one that has been traumatic, and I think I have transferred some of my trauma to my children. My family was cold and seldom, if ever showed emotion. You were more likely to get scolded and yelled at for making a mistake, never that I know of for doing good. I never knew where to turn as you could get a good tongue-lashing for just about anything. Read more

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Problem: I have anxiety and I have a hard time figuring out what it is all about. My life is stressful and I am pretty busy most of the time. I do not have much downtime, so I don’t do any kind of stress management. I have recently had trouble sleeping and that affects me during the day. I don’t think about much of anything but I wake up sometimes with a feeling of uneasiness. It isn’t like I go to sleep thinking, but it is hard to wake refreshed after waking up to that feeling. I think … Read more

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Problem/challenge: My husband is a pretty optimistic guy and generally happy. I have such a hard time understanding his mindset. We as a nation are going through some pretty divisive times. I read Facebook and see so many people taking sides and belittling others based on politics. I wonder how he can see the same thing I am seeing and not be disturbed by it. He will always spin it so it is not that bad. Read more

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Problem: I am a married woman with four children, and I have recently noticed that my children do not take much responsibility for their lives. I have done everything for my children and have been a stay-at home-mom because I could. My husband does not participate much in raising our children because he is always working. He is good when he is home, but does not discipline much. I do not have a lot of time, and neither do the children, as we are all busy with activities. The children ran… Read more

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Problem: I have a difficult time forgiving my husband. He has done plenty to offend me and most of the time it seems intentional. He has a very rough demeanor and he says whatever comes to his mind. We have been married for a very long time and our kids are grown and gone. Our children know how he is so they have ignored his comments and gone on. They do not live with him and maybe that is the difference. They can leave when they are upset or don’t like what he says. Our oldest son works… Read more

Share Your Problem

To submit problems contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at jsanchez1448@sbcglobal.net.